I don't like being licked, snuffled, drooled on, peed on, jumped on, or humped. I don't think I'll ever really be a dog person. But today I tried. I went over to my buddies' place to play DnD today. (Dungeons and Dragons, for those unschooled in such dork knowledge.) Upon arrival I was given my usual greeting "Come on in!" from the upstairs window and excited wiggling from the small dog Allie-may. So I decided, for whatever stupid reason, that I would embrace the excitement of the dog. I set my things down, wiggled my butt and went "AlliemayAlliemayAlliemayAlliemay! PuppyPuppyPuppy!" with a stupid grin on my face, leaning over to pet her. She proceeded to wiggle-wag her way over, crouch on my foot, and release her happiness at my arrival right there on my foot. Immediate and complete reversal to sad day face. I loudly proclaimed my unhappiness and the dog scampered off. My friend came downstairs, joined my sad party, and put the dog out. Then he gave me a clean sock and we adjourned to the living room to play DnD.
Allie-may and I did make up later, and she sat nice and calm on my lap. I thought, "this is nice. sitting on my lap and letting me pet her, not licking me or anything." Just like a cat. So as my best friend has said before: "You only like dogs when they're like cats!" It is true.