So the second or third day of classes this year I decided I would roller-blade to the bus stop. Seems like a harmless idea. But then, after putting on my blades and wrist-guard-thingies, I stood up shakily and remembered that I hadn't roller-bladed in years. I overcame the small wave of panic and took off. I immediately almost crashed. There are these weird deep footprints in our sidewalk from when some idiot walked across it while it was wet. A few of them have been filled in, but most haven't. Trap #1 narrowly avoided.
I rolled down the little ramp to the street, didn't get run over, and was on my way. The route I take to school is through the apartment complex across the street from me, and they take pains to make sure no one speeds from one end to the next. I.E. speed bumps. (Or speed humps, if that amuses you more.) There are two of them directly in my path... Trap #2 successfully passed by slowing down and bending my knees and squeaking in fear. Then I power through the small hill and into the next parking lot. Trap #3: big puddle. This I had no idea was a trap until after I was through it and nearly did the splits because of my wet skates. Onward down the sidewalk... time to cross another road! But wait... Trap #4! Gravel on both sides of the road! Awkward walking-scuffing-shuffle and I'm still on my feet. Next parking lot. There's a little more gravel, but I'm all pshhh whatevah I got this. Then I nearly fall on my face from a full-stop jerk of my right leg as a twig is caught in the wheels. Nearly. Trap #5 now watched for keenly as there is other random debris on the road/sidewalk. From there it's smooth sailing. I make it to the shuttle bus stop, take off the skates and throw on my flumpy shoes, and head to class.
But in the end it wasn't the small amounts of terror on the way to school that made me not want to skate to school again. (Plus slightly larder amount of terror going down the hill too fast on the way home.) It was the carrying the bastards around all day on campus after I got there.
Looking back on the decision to skate, it was probably more of a bad idea than I thought. I remember some traumatic events with those very skates...
My best friend from middle school and I both got these new skates, and wanted desperately to go be fools outside. So we suited up - helmets, wrist guards, skates - and went off down the paved bike path. It was going fine for a good while, but she got a good bit ahead of me, so I decided to hurry up. Then I Spectacularly crashed and smeared my flesh on the pavement. A nice long slide. She didn't hear me fall and kept going. I was wearing shorts. NEVER ever EVER do this while skating unless you want hamburger for legs. I immediately started to cry. Some kind passerby stopped and helped me sit on a nearby bench until she came back. She was horrified and helped me skate painfully back home to get cleaned up. And if I hadn't been wearing those wrist guards? Probably would've seen bone on my hands. The gouges in the plastic are pretty deep. I had hardcore roadburn for a couple weeks.
This event probably should have put me off skating forever, but kids bounce back well. Another friend and I decided to skate from my house to her house. Which is over a mile. Plus up and down many hills. It took us twice as long to get to her house as we thought, and her Mother was super pissed. At one point to stop myself I wanted to pull a really cool move like in movies, where people use stop signs to swing around. Well I swung around. And around. And around until I was flat on my butt. Luckily I didn't hurt myself and we giggled insanely about it.
I should probably never try to be athletic in any way. I'm just not cut out for it.